


Secrets

by henruh



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, Trans Character, Trans Kyle Broflovski, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:53:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25497925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/henruh/pseuds/henruh
Summary: After a particular incident, Kyle starts to wonder more about his relationship with Eric, and what it's becoming. Meanwhile, Eric struggles with his own thoughts, Stan deals with his own relationship issues, and Kenny's probably somewhere getting high.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger
Comments: 5
Kudos: 35





	1. Shower Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! First fic I've posted in ages, been meaning to write something for my own favourite hc for Kyle, and decided to also write some of my favourite ship for Kyle as well - so I put them together! Hope you enjoy the first chapter, and let me know what you guys think!

A sigh escaped pale lips, one that had been held in for what seemed like hours now.

_“Finally”_

With an audible slam of his bedroom door behind him, Kyle took no longer than a few split seconds to pull off his kit, taking even less time to throw his now crumbled up jersey onto the floor beneath him, before moving his arms around to grab at the white seams of the tight fabric still covering his chest.

Practice lasted longer than he had first thought, and he was well aware it was a completely idiotic idea in the first place to even wear it during the try-out match. Although, Kyle shrugged, it wasn’t as if he hadn’t done this before.

“Shit!”

Kyle breathed in, and out again. The tight, still stretchy, material yanked up and over his head, but not without getting stuck, blocking all sight for a few moments, causing him to trip backwards. Thankfully, soft patterned cushions greeted him, as he tripped backwards onto his bed. Red curls covered his face, as the room went silent once again. Kyle turned his head to the side, staring intensely at his binder now in his right hand, which had spread out.

All he could think about in that moment was the future, where he would eventually have had his surgery already, and in moments like that, be able to just drop the death trap he held in his right hand down the bottom end of his bed, to collect dust, and never be seen again. That, and just how long he had let his hair grow out.

Though, that wouldn’t be for another few years at least, and so, reluctantly, the grip on the binder was held firmly, slowly bringing it back nearer to himself. Slowly, and reluctantly, Kyle also decided to make a move and get up, bending down to pick up another crumbled up tee that he had left on the floor. There wasn’t anywhere he was expected to be, so a not-so-clean top would just have to do. Not wanting to spend a moment longer without anything on. Hastily, it got pulled on.

Which now left him standing in the middle of his bedroom, glancing into his mirror, his appearance didn’t bother him, not so much as it did before he had started testosterone (or, as Kenny delightfully calls it – “boy juice”) though he had to admit, he still brought an arm up, to cover his chest visually as he checked himself over. With his basketball shorts still on, and a tee which didn’t quite fit him, he had to admit, he didn’t look half bad. 

Kyle froze for a moment. Hazel eyes widening, before rolling into the back of his head. This wasn’t even his t-shirt! No wonder it doesn’t fit! Kyle reached behind him, moving in closer to the mirror to double check the tag which was still intact at the back of the top. As Kyle moved in, it suddenly dawned on him

_I knew it! A large, when I’m only a medium!_

A look of disgust suddenly washed over Kyle, his own reflection throwing it back at him. That didn’t bother Kyle though, since that was exactly what he expected his reaction to be. What he wasn’t expecting, was to see his own reflection have flushed cheeks, almost matching the shade of his hair. He turned his gaze away by that point, and stormed off, almost as if _he_ had caught him.

_It’s okay. It’s just the hormones._

Kyle felt his face heat up this time, despite telling himself not to overthink it, it was all he had thought about. He couldn’t stop himself either, before he could realise what he was doing, he had brought his face down, taking a whiff of the oversized tee he had on.

“ _…Fuck_ ” Defeated at only himself, Kyle muttered into the empty room. It was silent once again, and he became increasing aware of how, weird, he was being. He huffed, feeling nothing but irritated at himself for letting this go on for so long.

In a hurry, almost desperately, arms swung in shift movements, making way to tear the top off. Almost fearful someone might spot him, despite his curtains still pulled closed.

_Buzz!_

Kyle paused, and turned, letting his arms fall to his sides, forgetting entirely about the fuss he made seconds beforehand. Instead, his attention was now directed at his bed behind him, where he had left his phone earlier that morning.

**Stan: Hey dude! Practice finish yet? The guys are all getting together at Token's later, Nicole's birthday, making sure you don't forget.**

"...Ah" Kyle breathed out, finally grounding himself, in realising that he did in fact forget.

**Hey dude, yeah finished early, when are you heading round?**

Fingers typed quickly, and hit sent. Stan always teased him that he replied too quickly, but Kyle would rather have a quick response than wait hours to hear back. Especially if plans had been made. While doing so, a small glance at his phone's clock reminded him again of something he forgot, that Nicole's unofficial, surprise 21st would be kicking off in an hour. 

As it would normally be, Kyle thought it would take Stan a while to get back to him, so in the meanwhile, he figured that he may as well get a start on getting ready. 

Though like a habit, Kyle froze again when he was met with his reflection once more. _Right, that does it._ Not long after, he had removed the tee, and threw it to one side.

_Buzz!_

Hearing the same vibration so soon echo from his phone took Kyle by surprise, it wasn't like Stan to get back to him so quick.

**Stan: I'm at Wendy's now, her and Bebe are getting ready together so we're dropping by Clyde's then heading around together, so honestly don't know, maybe the next twenty minutes?**

A smirk made it way onto Kyle's lips, _so that's why he's replying so fast._

Stan would never admit it, but while him and Wendy had been doing better lately, whenever she was getting ready or was with one of her friends, Stan got bored. Often. Fast. Not too surprising that he went to his phone to pass in the time.

Before Kyle could type out another response though, he felt a quiver in his hand, come from his own mobile device.

**Stan: I hope you don't mind?**

He smiled at that. Frankly, Kyle couldn't give two shits if the party was cancelled, but knowing Stan cared made him excited about going. He hadn't seen Stan in almost two weeks, as for Kenny, near four.

_As for fatass-_

Kyle shuddered, and shook his head, wanting to think about anything and anyone else apart from that asshole tonight. 

Truthfully though, when he did look back on it, it wasn't even bad. It was, _good._ They had actually been getting along. Almost as if it was an entirely new Eric Cartman, and the Cartman he knew had been abducted, _again_.

That's what terrified Kyle.

He wasn't use to their, relationship, being so positive, or even rewarding. They still had their fights, often times nowadays Kenny making bets on who would win, yet he couldn't deny that they didn't have the same bite to them, or the same anger behind it. Almost as if they were only doing the whole performance as a show, for those around them who knew what to already expect.

_Buzz!_

"...Huh?" Kyle looked down again at his phone, another shake from it snapping him back to reality.

**Stan: Dude, if you're not okay with it that's fine, we can head round to yours after we pick up Clyde?**

Kyle groaned, he got so caught up in telling himself _not_ to think about the local douchebag that he ended up _thinking_ about him and ended up forgetting to reply to Stan.

**Hey dude, no that's fine, let me send Kenny a quick text here and I'll head round with him.**

He couldn't remember the last time he had typed a text, or anything for that matter, so fast.

_Right! Focus! Getting ready!_

He ran his fingers through his hair, strands coming apart and curling up in his palm. 

**Hey Ken, I'm getting ready now, want to head round to Token's together?**

He made sure to quickly type out a second message, this time to Kenny, before he forgot again. With that, tossing the phone aside, back onto his bed beside the pillows where it belonged. While doing so, his eyes spotted a familiar nuisance. His binder. Begrudgingly, Kyle leaned over and scooped it up, carrying it with him out of his room and to the shower. _Ugh, really shouldn't have worn this fucking thing during the match!_

Confident that no one else had returned home yet, Kyle stepped into the bathroom, still locking the door behind him, before removing his kit shorts and boxers, turning on the tap.

It was meant to be relaxing, showers, or so he heard. Yet, all he could do was stress and ponder over his thoughts from earlier.

_The fuck are you looking at smart-ass!_

**_It suits you._ **

_I swear if you eve-wait, what?_

**_Your jacket, it suits you._ **

Kyle huffed again. The whole situation was almost a week ago, yet he hadn't stopped thinking about it.

_Uh-Are, are you fucking with me?_

_**What? Jew boy can't take a compliment? I like the jacket Kyle, it suits you.** _

It felt nice. Cold droplets hitting against his face, though it didn't help much. 

_Oh! Hey Kyle! Baby! You two catching up?_

Then he changed. Immediately, when she showed up.

_**Hey baby, nah stupid Jew playing mister know-it-all again, let's go.** _

Reaching out for the tap again, this time to shut it off, Kyle emerged from the shower, drying himself off. That deep, sinister tone still replaying in his mind. For once, he firmly told himself he wasn't going to dwell on it, he hadn't even checked if Kenny had replied yet. Picking his binder up from the place on the floor he dropped it, he soon got it on, this time without much hassle. 

Feeling refreshed, his nose turned up when he reentered his room - _Has it seriously been that long since I lasted cleaned?_

The second thing Kyle noticed, was his phone had flashed on, brought to life. When he got closer, he discovered it had been brought to life by several messages, and missed calls from Kenny.

**Kenny: Kyley Broooooo, what's happening my man, you heading to the party?**

**Kenny: Fuck dude that's knocked me back didn't think you'd be bothered.**

**Kenny: I'm at Craig's, we already downing some drinks, Tweek did six shots straight ya should had witnessed it.**

**Kenny: I'll see ya there my dude!**

_Great. Kenny's already on his way to being wasted and sounds like he's already heading with Craig and Tweek._

Scrolling through his contacts, wondering if there was anyone else he could head with, he froze again, stopping at a particular number now far down his list.

**Cartman**

There was no way in hell he would actually message him, asking to tag along on the way to Token's, so why was he staring at the name on his phone?

In frustration, Kyle threw the phone down again, and decided just to walk up to Token's alone. This time, choosing to look at the clock on his wall to find out how much longer he had to put something on.

_Ten minutes._

_Shit!_

Kyle settled on a basic pair of skinny jeans, washed out and dark navy blue, with his basketball trainers he had worn that day at practice. All that was left was something on top. Spotting what looked like an old, red hoody, he shrugged and put it on. It didn't seem too old, and must have been something he only wore once or twice after he bought it. Figuring others would probably reckon it was new. He grabbed his phone, and headed to his hallway, just causally fixing his hair in the larger mirror. Once he was certain he didn't look completely like shit, he headed out.

South Park was known to be cold, freezing, so much so it could freeze hell over, but Kyle hadn't expected it to be _this_ cold. Throwing his hands in his hoody pockets, he pulled the woolen piece tighten to him, hoping it would warm him up. He was about half way to Token's, and already noticed some of the girls' from his year on the other side of the street, barely wearing anything at all. _Kenny's gonna have a field day._ He chuckled to himself at the thought.

_**"Well look who it is!"** _

Kyle stopped dead in his tracks, and swore he felt his heart stop. He knew that voice. Too well.

And he really, _really_ did not want to turn round and face him.

He sighed, knowing that if he didn't, he would already be admitting defeat.

 _"Hey Fatass"_ He felt his voice shake, but coughed, hoping to cover it.

Kyle raised an eyebrow, Cartman's face having suddenly twisted and changed once red hair spun round to meet him. Kyle was expecting insults, teasing, or just plain annoying stupidity. Though he said nothing, just, stared straight at him.

_It was awkward._

Kyle cleared his voice, wanting to put the awkwardness to rest before it got any worst, however, before he even got a chance, it was already broken.

_**"Dude, that's my hoody"** _


	2. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the journey to Token's - Eric gives Kyle something else to think about, and after finally arriving at the party, Eric decides to finally share a secret he's only just came to terms with himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter! Really enjoying writing this fic, still trying to find the right footing for it, but hope you guys enjoy it regardless and as always, let me know what you think!

_“First one to fall asleep loses dude! C’mon! Stan’s about to pass out any minute, just hold out longer!”_

**_“Kenny, I said, screw you guys, I’m going to sleep. Knew you were poor, didn’t think you were deaf”_ **

_“Then don’t be such a little bitch when you wake up and find I’ve drawn a dick on your forehead!”_

_“Cartman doesn’t need that for everyone to know he’s a dickhead”_

**_“Ay! Fuck up or get the fuck out!”_ **

**_“It’s my fucking house! If your fat ass can’t handle an all-nighter then you shouldn’t have even come!”_ **

Surprisingly, Cartman didn’t seem to bite back at that. Kyle shrugged it off, figuring the stupid dick was too tired to even bother. All he did after those parting words was throw off his stupid, red, new hoody that his mum had gotten him earlier that day, something that he hadn’t shut up about since he first arrived at Kyle’s.

_That was five years ago._

Here, now, in the present. Kyle stood facing the same Eric Cartman, barking about how he was apparently wearing his hoody. After a trip down memory lane, Kyle felt his face burn bright, realising that for _once, **Cartman was right.**_

_That didn’t mean he had to say he was right though._

_“As fucking if”_ Kyle snapped back “ _You’re so full of shit Cartman”._

Satisfied that he got his point across, Kyle turned on his heels and tried to walk away, fast, but not too quickly. Not wanting Cartman to even get a hint.

However, before he could even lift one foot forward, he felt a rough hand smack him on the shoulder, gripping him tightly.

**_“Let me see the label”_ **

Having his back now turned to the other had one good advantage, Cartman couldn’t see the absolute face of dread which had taken over Kyle at hearing those words. Though, his face soon scrunched up into one of anger. _He hated losing._

**_Especially_ ** _, to that self-centred, self-righteous, egocentric prick._

Soon, another realisation came to light. Cartman wasn’t wearing gloves. Kyle felt himself flinch at the touch of soft fingertips at the back of his neck, and abruptly pulled himself away when he felt that same sensation dip down his back – searching for the clothing tag.

**_“What, in the name of fuck, do you think you’re doing!”_** Kyle screeched, bringing both his hands up, shoving Cartman in the chest.

As Kyle had expected, Cartman seemed to find this humorous, and started to laugh.

_“My Oh My, Someone’s getting awfully angry, aren’t we? And I was going to say red **wasn’t your colour”** _He snickered, gesturing to his own cheeks, which only made Kyle bring a hand up to feel his own. They…were…

_“Red hot, aren’t ya? Ha! And you assholes all say **I’m** the one with anger issues!” _Cartman was nearly crying with laughter at that point. That big, loud, _stupid_ laugh of his _ringing_ in Kyle’s ears. If only Cartman knew the real reason why Kyle was so red in the face, Kyle figured he wouldn’t be so quick to laugh then.

Yet, Kyle only felt his face heat up more, the feeling of light touches brushing against his neck replaying over and over in his head, melting in with that annoying laugh of his. Subconsciously, Kyle squeezed his legs together.

Oh.

_Oh Fuck._

**_He was hard._ **

**_“Glad to see you two getting along, as always!”_ **

Both Kyle, and Cartman, swung around at that. There behind them, stood three other guys, and it didn’t take long for Kyle to figure out which one of them had said the sly remark.

_“Ay! Ken!”_

Kyle rolled his eyes, and decided to keep his mouth shut. Kenny definitely was not lying when he told him that Tweek had done six shots straight. As behind him, stood Craig, with a very pissed off expression, one arm around Tweek’s shoulder, making sure he was standing up straight.

“ _Ayyyyy, we haven’t even got to the party yet and you two already starting, what’d ya say this time?”_

Kyle felt himself smirk at that, and looked up to see Kenny wink at him. Despite knowing Kenny and Cartman were closer, like how he and Stan was, it was a relief to know Kenny knew what was what.

“ _…Actually, I’d think you’d find that our very own Kyle Broflovski here started the little disagreement this time”_

His head flew round at that, glaring into brown eyes, which seemed to hide mischief. Then again, they always did, so nothing was new there. What was new, was how Cartman was seemingly calm, and composed, when typically, he would have been blowing off by this point to Kenny, about how much of a rat he had been, and how he was sticking his nose in where it didn’t belong.

_“Why, my dear friend Kenneth, could you **please** take a good, long look at what our other dear little friend Kyle here is wearing? Hm?”_

Kyle felt his blood run cold.

**_Oh! That fucking smartass! Bringing Kenny into something that he probably doesn’t even fucking remember!_ **

_Yet, Kyle couldn’t deny that if **he** could remember that night, then…_

“Just ignore him Kenny, fat ass here’s just jealous cause I got a new hoody and he _couldn’t afford one_ ” Kyle winced at hearing him say that, particularly considering _who_ he was saying it too. He never brought money into an argument, specifically, he never brought in _how much_ money someone had into an argument. Yet, over the years, he knew it was something that _pissed_ Cartman off more than anything else, and he knew he needed an escape out of this conversation.

Kenny cocked his brow at the sudden outburst, and Kyle _pleaded_ through his eyes for Kenny to just drop it.

While not the most well-off person in the world, Kenny was certainly one of the smarter ones. As soon as Kyle stared at him, he winked again, and shrugged, turning back to the side to face Cartman.

“ _Mon guys – Stan and Clyde are probably already bored to tears with their sweethearts, I say we get round and shake things up”_

A breath of fresh, sweet air-filled Kyle, as he nodded in agreement. Noticing that Craig and Tweek had already walked off, and Cartman just huffed. As usual.

Kyle figured he would walk in front with Kenny, Cartman tagging behind – mostly occupied with his phone. Everything had only just settled back down when Kyle felt his own problem persist from earlier. Suddenly, Kyle realised this was one of the only times he felt thankful for _not_ being born with a cis dick.

“…Ya alright there dude?” Kenny chuckled, either from the high he was coming down from, or the brooze that he had just finished before heading out.

“ _Yeah! Yeah dude, I’m fine”_ Kyle stammered, dismissing it off with a wave.

“…Ya? Sure? Your-“ Kenny stopped himself from finishing his sentence, quickly taking a look behind him to see if Cartman was paying attention. Before turning back, and discreetly tapping to his face.

“Huh?” Kyle pulled a face, reaching in and fishing out his phone, peeking at the black screen to his own reflection. _He was still blushing._

**_Fuck!_ **

_“What are you two boners talking about?”_ Kyle jumped at the sudden intrusion, and stuck his head down, seemingly fascinated with the ground beneath him.

_“Well we weren’t talking about it but since you finally decided to join in, I’ll ask ya, where’s **your** sweetheart tonight?”_

That hadn’t even crossed Kyle’s mind, but now that Kenny had brought it up, he pondered. _Where was Heidi?_ The last few times he had ran into Cartman, she was always by his side, or ended up dragging along with him. Almost like a bad smell.

Silence. Again, not something Kyle was used to when it came to Cartman. This caused him to turn around with Kenny, now looking back into those brown eyes – all mischief in them, now vanished. Replaced with… _sadness?_

**_“Not talking about it”_ **

Was the only response they got spat back at them, just afterwards, Cartman went back to being glued to his phone. Suddenly, the three of them were met with the same quietness. It stayed that way. Besides a few remarks or jokes Kenny made, about who he was hoping to score with that night, or who he was hoping would throw up first. It was relatively peaceful, even for South Park. Not many people were out on the streets, apart from the ones that Kyle could tell where also heading to the party.

Soon, the still shadow outlining of Token’s house came into view, and Kenny spotted Tweek and Craig – One drinking coffee from a thermos in what seemed to be an attempt to sober up, and the other, smoking a poorly rolled up cigarette.

It had gotten dark out, so naturally, Kyle felt his eyes squinting as he made his way to the front gates. Kenny had ran off at that point, back towards Tweek and Craig, Kyle figured out of guilt, and the need to check in on how Tweek was doing. Which left himself, and Cartman, alone, again.

Desperate not to be in that situation for a moment longer, Kyle dug out his phone, and pressed the home button bringing it to life. Typing out a message to Stan.

**Hey dude, we’re here, front gates just walking in now – where abouts are you?**

He sighed, tucking the device back into his front pocket. Looking around him, getting his senses together. There seemed to be a lot of people invited, and even more had appeared to have shown up. In the distance, Kyle noticed Jimmy and Red were talking, while nearby them some more girls from their year had came outside to smoke.

**_Ugh. Fuck this._** Kyle grunted, shoving his hands back into his hoody’s front pockets, walking off through the gates, up onto the hill towards Token’s front entrance.

_Buzz!_

**Stan: “We’re”? Kenny told me he went with Tweek and Craig?**

_Oh Stan, if only you knew what you missed._

**Long Story.**

_Send!_

_“Ay! Wait up, fuck!”_

**_Oh – For fuck sake!_ **

_“I don’t think I really need too – do I?”_ Kyle mocked, not even bothering to turn back. Focused solely on getting out of the cold.

**_“…Eric?”_ **

That did made Kyle turn around, so did Cartman. Standing behind him, while it was _hard to see behind_ his fat ass with his build, was Heidi.

**_“_** _Can we, tal-“_ Kyle peeked round Cartman, trying to make sure _it was_ Heidi, when suddenly she stopped speaking.

**_“Oh, you’re with him”_ **

_Was she, crying?_

Before Kyle could check, Heidi had ran off, pushing past him like a hurricane into Token’s.

That was around two hours ago. It was nearing ten. Now, he sat with Stan, a drink that was far too strong for him in his right hand. The other hand, resting on his lap. He was delighted to see Stan, of course he was, but as selfish as it may sound, Kyle wasn’t exactly tuned in to every little thing he was saying to him. Actually, Kyle wasn’t tuned in _at all_. Mostly, Stan was giving off about shit that had happened between him and Wendy, but in truth, the only couple Kyle was interested in knowing about was Cartman and Heidi.

**_You’re With Him_ **

…What, did she mean? Why was she upset? Why was she _surprised_ to see Cartman at the party?

“ ** _Kyle?”_**

_“Huh? Oh, sorry Stan, what’s up?”_

Stan groaned, and pushed his chair out, struggling a bit to stand.

“ _It’s fine dude, something’s going on with you and you shouldn’t have to listen to my shitty problems, I’m gonna go get another beer”_ Kyle heard the slur in Stan’s tone, but decided not to comment on it. Instead, pushed his own chair out, and got up – accepting that if he wanted answers, he’d just have to ask _him_ himself.

_“I’m always here for you dude, I just, need to go do something first, I’ll be back in a bit!”_ Kyle called as he walked off.

Each room he wandered into, the partying spirit was alive and well. From Butters dancing, to Kenny spaced out on the couch, to Tweek downing more shots. That wasn’t what Kyle was looking for though, and the more and more he looked, the more and more frantic he felt himself become. _Where the fuck did he go?_

Deciding to resign, Kyle opened the back-porch door, stepping out to a cold chill once more. _Hm, must have left and went home. Figures._

**_“…Hey”_ **

Cocking his head to the side, Kyle could see a dark figure resembling who he had been searching for, sitting on the fence wall, smoking.

**_“Hey”_** Kyle said back. He was the one who had went looking for him, but now that he was right in front of him, Kyle didn’t know what to say. Simply, walking over and taking a seat beside him on the wall.

_“…Smoke?”_ His voice low, and husky. A hand stretched out, holding a packet of cigarettes, and a lighter tucked in his thumb.

_“Oh – Oh nah, stopped last year when I started, **you know** ” _Kyle rambled an excuse, much to Cartman’s amusement. He could have sworn he heard a chuckle, but Kyle ignored it.

…

“ ** _You and Heidi okay?”_**

Kyle immediately caught Cartman recoil, and realised that probably wasn’t the _best_ way to bring up the subject.

“ ** _Um – I mean-“_**

_“It’s fine”_

Huh?

“You, sure-“

“ ** _I said it’s fine”_**

Kyle swallowed hard, why was he nervous? Why did he even care? If Cartman and Heidi had a fight, it _had nothing to do with him._

“ _…Girlfriends, huh, if it means anything – I’m sure she’ll be fin-“_

_“ **She’s not my girlfriend anymore”**_

Ah

**_Ah_ **

**_So it wasn’t just a falling out._ **

“… _You, want to talk about it?”_

Cartman took another drag of his cigarette, and tapped it off the edge of the wall, letting ash fall.

“ _Not a lot to talk about”_

**_Ugh! Typical Cartman!_ **

**_“_ ** _Dude, know we don’t always get on-well, never, we never get on-“_

**_“Ugh, your point, Kyle?”_ **

_“My point, **Eric** , is – Kenny’s high off his ass, Stan’s drunk, and Butters doesn’t even know what time it is –We’re the only sober people here **, I’m here if you need to talk”**_

_…_

_“Can I ask you something?”_

That, wasn’t what Kyle was expecting, then again. Everything that’s happened tonight, Kyle hadn’t expected either.

“Uh, Sure?”

**_“You ever do something, just because it’s what people expect from you?”_ **

_What the fuck was he on about?_

_“Uh, I mean? That’s, That’s a loaded question Cartman-“_

**_“You ever go with someone, just because that’s who people expect you to be with”_ **

_Wait…_

_“-Eric, I-“_

**_“Kyle”_ **

A half-smoked cigarette hit the stone pavement below, even in the dark – brown eyes still shone vividly. Now having turned to face him, _Kyle could smell it._

**_He wasn’t sober. He had been drinking. A lot._ **

_“…Y-Yeah?”_

_“ **Say that again”**_

_“…What?”_

Kyle felt his heart race, in between the words to each other, they had gotten closer, his thigh now squished against Cartman’s own.

“ ** _My name, Kyle, say it again”_**

Not just their bodies, but Kyle soon discovered their faces had been floating closer to each other’s as well. Keeping his gaze fixed on Cartman’s, he realised Eric wasn’t looking into his eyes anymore.

_He was glancing at his lips._

This, wasn’t right. Kyle tried to tell himself – tried to convince himself. Not even from a normal viewpoint, but a moral one as well. Cartman was **_drunk_** – and from the sounds of it, just broken things off with his girlfriend. _Heidi would have **my head.**_

**_…_ **

_Is that…the only reason though? The only, excuse? Why, wasn’t he disgusted? The sheer thought of it alone should be enough for him to push Cartman off, and leave._

**_But he didn’t._ **

_“…Okay… **Eric-“**_

_As soon as the name left his lips, other smooth ones crashed into his own, hungry, **needy.** A hand made it’s way up Kyle’s back, fingertips brushing along, playing with his neck, before gripping a fistful of his hair. Memories of their earlier encounter overcame Kyle, and he couldn’t stop himself from moaning softly into the kiss._

_Eric was the one who pulled away first, grasping for air._

**_“You look so fucking good wearing my hoody”_ **


	3. Sleepover (Second Time's A Charm)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyle has a self-discovery of his own, while Eric seems to only give Kyle more questions than any answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Third chapter! Bit of a filter one but hope you all enjoy it regardless! Really enjoying how the story's turning out and excited to get further into it! As always, let me know what you guys think!

_Bastard…Even when he’s drunk, he just has to prove a point, just has to let you know that **he’s right.**_

It got quiet, all too soon. Leaving both of them staring into each other’s eyes again, yet this time, Kyle could sense something had changed. He’d seen Cartman drunk before, more times than he would have liked. Though, this time was, different. Drunk or sober, Kyle couldn’t think back to a time when he’d ever seen Cartman, _vulnerable._

He was panting, both of them were. Out of breath, the frost in the air making it even worse. Their faces only an inch apart, prepared to dive back in at the other for a second taste, a second _chance._

_…What…What am I doing?_

Kyle was sober. He knew that for a fact. He may not be the best at handling his drink, but he knew when he had hit his limit. Cartman, on the other hand, was renowned for being the town’s local lightweight, and right now, he was showing it.

_It’s not right._

Kyle echoed that same thought in the back of his mind, and while studying Cartman’s own gaze, he knew it was beyond wrong.

_It was fucked up._

Eric Cartman. The selfish, manipulative, _arrogant, impulsive **, rude, impatien-**_

**_“…K-Kyle?”_ **

Kyle flinched back; eyes shot open. Looking into the same unsettlingly deep chocolate ones that only a few hours ago were threatening him. Glaring at him. Full of unease, tension, and mischief, almost as if the young man they belonged to was going to explode, and take Kyle down with him.

Now, they were calm. Sweet, and luminous - expressive _, full of affection._

Kyle wasn’t sure if the person in front of him was even Eric Cartman anymore. Only seconds ago, his own mind had been telling him how horrible he was, how disgusting and downright vile of a person he was known to be, but for some bizarre reason, Kyle didn’t want to listen. It was as if Kyle didn’t care.

_Did he?_

Kyle stayed frozen in place. The world around them strangely still. The snow had started again, slow and gentle. Streetlights oozing in a warm brightness from the back of Token’s neighbourhood. The noise from the party booming, only small vibrations and hushes of the excitement happening within escaping outside.

_“…Fuck…I… **I’m sorry”**_

Yet within a heartbeat after hearing that, Kyle snapped back to reality. _Cartman was…apologising?_

_…Those…puppy eyes again…._

Suddenly, Kyle felt himself panic. In the midst of his thoughts, trying to analyse and figure out what had happened, what he should do next – a question popped right along beside it.

**_Do I like him?_ **

It was no news to Kyle that he liked boys, he’d known that for quite some time already - but that wasn’t what caused his panic.

**_Do I like, Cartman?_ **

He was torn since day one when Heidi and Cartman started dating, hated always seeing them together. Kyle also had to admit that he hadn’t stopped thinking about Cartman, and those lingering thoughts of him only got worst since he started being nicer to him. Even the nights, alone in his room, getting off, Kyle couldn’t deny his thoughts always drifted back to _him_.

**_…Okay…So, I have a thing for Cartman.._ **

Kyle paused again.

_…But…He’s the one who kissed me?_

Kyle felt himself flinch again, at the sudden movement in front of him. He had been staring into Cartman’s eyes for so long, they had become a familiar safe point for him to return to once his thoughts had finished rambling. When he tried to search for them and found himself staring at nothing. He realised that Cartman had gotten up.

_“Where are you going?”_

Kyle stretched out, latching onto the other’s shoulder. Partially due to the fact he didn’t want him to just get up and _leave_ like he _always_ does when something doesn’t go his way, but mainly because Kyle knew if he didn’t steady him – He’d probably fall over.

**_“What’s it got to do with you?”_ **

_Yeah. That’s definitely Cartman._ Kyle huffed, annoyed that he had changed back so quick to the asshole he knew so well. He felt himself shake at the sudden thought that followed.

_Cause I really, **really** wanted more time with the **other** Cartman._

**“Well let’s make a list, shall we? You’ve done nothing but piss me off today, wanted to cause another stupid argument, that you tried to bring Kenny into, disappeared not even an hour into the party-“**

Kyle sighed; this wasn’t right either. He shouldn’t be getting worked up, or dragging Cartman through the dirt.

**_“-…You kissed me”_ **

Kyle whispered, almost as if it was a shameful secret. Something that couldn’t be spoken about, that shouldn’t be spoken about. Something that should be kept under lock and key, thrown away and buried six feet under. He felt Cartman tense up in his grip, and that was when Kyle realised that he wasn’t looking at him, he had his head down, eyes shut close. He’d just kissed him, and now he wouldn’t even _look at him_.

**_“Eric, look at me”_ **

When Eric refused, Kyle groaned to himself. He should know by now that Cartman hardly ever listens to him, why the fuck would he suddenly start now?

_“Please?”_

Surprisingly, that seemed to do the trick. Though after tonight, Kyle wasn’t sure what would count as surprising anymore.

_“ **Forget it – It never happened, got it?”**_

_…What?_

Kyle tighten his hold on Eric, bringing himself closer. Moving a leg between Eric’s own, bringing his other free hand up to wrap around behind his neck.

**_“_ ** _…What… **What if I don’t want to forget it?”**_

He couldn’t believe it, even when it was right in front of him. Now that they had moved further from the edge, nearer to the light beaming from the patio door, Kyle could see it clear as day. Eric was _blushing._

Bringing his face down closer, Kyle moved in, placing his lips on Eric’s. It was only meant to be a small, quick peck at first. Though when Kyle felt Eric move a hand around his waist, sliding it into his back-jean’s pocket, _deepening_ the kiss – he couldn’t hold back.

Feet tripping over each other, sloppy, messy, and overall, just a complete and utter horror show of a first kiss – _done twice_. Kyle started to chuckle. This was exactly how it should be. How it always _has_ been with them. It didn’t make any sense; their friendship, why they stuck with each other throughout the years, not even this kiss – but to Kyle, if you looked at it just right, from just the right angle, _it made perfect sense._

The only disadvantage to having a first kiss when one of you is completely wiped out, off their face, was falling over. Thankfully, when Eric did fall over, he fell onto Kyle. Knocking him back against the stone wall behind them. That didn’t seem to put a stop to it though, in fact, it seemed to only fuel the fire more. Eric moving his hand out of Kyle’s back pocket, giving a quick, sharp _slap._ Making Kyle let out a soft whimper. Eric letting out in return a small chuckle at his reaction, before returning his hand to the same spot, grabbing at it roughly. For the second time, it was Eric who broke the kiss, only this time, choosing to bring his lips to Kyle’s neck. Sucking gently, planting light kisses near his ear, and in between, biting down _hard_.

Kyle couldn’t hold back at that, moaning louder this time. Figuring that was only _encouraging_ Eric more. He groaned, feeling that _twitch_.

For the second time that day, Kyle had gotten hard.

_Ugh! Unbelievable!_

He huffed, feeling himself only getting more worked up with each _kiss_ and _nibble_ his neck got.

_…If…I’m hard, then-_

Kyle glanced down, knowing that while his own erection wouldn’t be noticeable – Eric’s _definitely_ would. A smirk formed on Kyle’s face; his suspicions, confirmed.

_Well then, two can play at that game._

Kyle’s smirk only grew wider. Now this was _fun_. This was their new little **_game_**.

Bringing his leg forwards between Eric’s, Kyle rubbed his thigh lightly, brushing against the other’s cock.

“ ** _Hmuhm”_**

_Fuck!_

Kyle only moaned again at hearing Eric do so himself, especially when he had moaned into the kiss that was on **_his_** neck. His seemingly perfect plan backfiring on him. _I really should have thought that out more, huh._

**_“Mon”_ **

Kyle panted. The savage ambush on his neck finally came to an end. Only to be replaced with words aimed at him now instead.

_“Huh?”_

**_“Come on, let’s bail”_ **

_Oh_

Kyle froze up again, the feeling of the other’s lips nibbling at his ear, before whispering in that same, husky, deep voice of his.

**_“…Mam ain’t home…”_ **

**_Oh_ **

Eric pulled away, seductively looking at Kyle, waiting for a response. Kyle felt himself mesmerised by the other’s eyes once again, but at hearing those words, he couldn’t delay an answer.

_“…I’d love to-“_

**_“Fuck yeah! Gonna be so fucking sweet! You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this-“_ **

Kyle was taken back by that. It was obvious by now Cartman was into him, and Kyle had worked out he felt the same regarding Cartman – But, _how long has Cartman been into him?_ Up until this point, Kyle didn’t even know Cartman liked guys. _Up until this point, he had been with Heidi._ Yet now, he’s asking him back to his house?

_“-Stay with you tonight, and we’ll talk in the morning”_

It didn’t take Kyle long to notice the change in Eric’s face. Throwing his head away, and groaning, **loudly.** _Was he…sulking? Seriously? **Like some child?**_

_Guess that means I’ll have to be the adult here? Like usual, huh?_

**_“Eric, you’re drunk”_ **

Kyle, decided he would just ignore Eric’s attitude, considering the fact _he was_ drunk, and Kyle wasn’t. Plus, Kyle was also guilty in all of this, and therefore, was also responsible. He didn’t stop Eric beforehand, and even _teased_ him. So, if a grumpy, pissed-off, horny Cartman was what he had to deal with? So be it.

“ _So what if I’m drunk? Want you now and still will when I’m sober **– ain’t gonna change that Jew”**_

_There’s that stupid nickname again. Yet, for some odd reason, it sounds weirdly adoring coming from him drunk. **Maybe that, or maybe you’ve just made out with him and felt him up? That might be why Kyle.**_

Kyle grimaced at his own thoughts, and sighed. He looked up, unsure how to answer Cartman. When suddenly, an idea popped into his head.

**_“And I’d still want you, now, and even when I’m drunk – that ain’t gonna change fatass”_ **

Kyle had to hold back his laughter at Eric’s facial expression – his reaction alone to that was priceless. It was almost as if he had gone through the five stages of grief in all of about five seconds. Kyle could tell he would have an argument for it though, so before Eric could even response, Kyle made sure to seal the deal.

**_“Let’s go back to yours, get you sobered up, and go to bed – in the morning, when you’re sober? We can put that little statement of yours to the test, and talk about it all after – sound fair?”_ **

As usual; with all their bets, competitions, or deals that they’ve made with each other in the past, and still now in the present. Kyle reached his hand out, opened and flat.

All too eagerly, Eric met this with an open hand of his own. Shaking on it.

**_“You’re on Jew!”_ **

_…Pf…Dumbass…Knew you couldn’t resist a bet…_

**_“Then you’re on, fatass”_ **

Kyle smirked, relieved that at least one of his plans worked tonight.

**_“Here, sneak out the side, brings us out to the hill don’t it?”_ **

Kyle nodded, and followed when Cartman started to make a move.

_“Ugh! Eric! Careful!”_

He stammered, watching Cartman almost trip over his own two feet again. Thankfully, Kyle had gotten over just in time, steadying him, and hooking his arm with his own.

_“…I think…I think I’ll get us back to yours, just you hang on”_ Kyle murmured, shaking his head.

They both had managed to make it out of the party without being noticed, Kyle was grateful for that at least. Though, on the way down the hill to the main road, Kyle felt a sudden rush of Deja-Vu. Eric, wasn’t talking. He had gone completely quiet. Kyle looked over, only to see him with a _stupid grin on his face._

_What…What the fuck?_

_“You alright?”_

**_“…This is nice”_ **

Eric mumbled, nudging in closer. His response only gave Kyle more questions.

_But…I guess that’s what I’m going over to his for…To get answers…_

Kyle sighed again. Completely unsure of what would happen. Tonight, or tomorrow.

_Though, Kyle soon found himself matching Eric’s grin. Huh, so maybe that’s why Cartman was smiling? Same reason as himself…_

**_He was excited to find out._ **


End file.
